I’m having an absolute blast with Chivalry 2. Its hilarity and brutality make for a gruesome medieval combat game that lets you play as both a master swordsman and a total buffoon. I mostly lean to the latter, my bloodlust completely taking over so that I blindly rush into the fray, sword swinging and battle cry booming. Even when I’m downed, I angrily thrash around like a fish out of water, trying to punch people’s kneecaps until someone smashes a morning star down on my skull.
It’s violent, bloody, and I can’t get enough of it. Chivalry 2 is essentially about throwing your meat bag body against other meat bag bodies, and part of the grisly fun is slicing and dicing players to bits. Limbs can be chopped off, clusters of arrows can stick out of your armour, and, of course, heads can cleanly be sliced off. Being decapitated is a common occurrence on the battlefield, and if you slash through an enemy’s neck, their head will roll onto the ground next to their bloodstained corpse.
A big part of fighting is switching up your weapons on-the-fly. Chivalry 2 gives you the option of picking up a variety of items, but also humorous objects like barrels, pumpkins, and even live chickens. It’s no surprise, then, you can pick up the heads of fallen enemies and chuck them at players. As soon as I found this out, a whole world of opportunities opened up and I decided to master the art of head hurling.
Nothing feels better than chucking some dead person’s helmet, head still inside, and managing to bonk someone else on their noggin.
Let me tell you, nothing feels better than chucking some dead person’s helmet, head still inside, and managing to bonk someone else on their noggin. As quick as a flash, I’ve scooped one up, picked a target, and let it fly (I give myself double points if I hit an archer). I’ve had so much fun with my newfound tactic, I go out of my way to hunt for them. I’ve actively scuttled in between the legs of those in the throes of battle just to search for human heads. The bodies in Chivalry 2 disappear relatively quickly, so you need to work swiftly to get a nice, freshly decapitated head. It’s also pretty risky as you have to dive into the chaos of the field and duck out again when you’ve found your prize.
Of course, the other way is just to get your own with a well-timed swipe. The most fitting weapon for beheading is the executioner’s axe, but even though it’s the strongest axe in the game, it’s super slow. You can still chop up players with a bunch of weapons fairly easily, like a classic sword. Swords are a great balance of damage, speed, and range but they’re not half as fun as carrying a giant axe. The bonus for going big is the likelihood of taking a single swing and cutting two people’s heads in one go, a mighty feat I have only ever seen once.
In his Chivalry 2 review, Tyler said that one of the best things about the combat sim is coming up with “stupid roleplaying ideas” and I couldn’t agree more. I had no idea that hunting decapitated heads would be my newfound persona. I’m like a little goblin on the battlefield, scampering around, picking them up, cradling them in my arms until the right moment to set them free. They are my grisly trophies.
So, yeah. Chivalry 2 is great. If you’re partial to a bit of bloody medieval combat with some humour it’s the perfect game, just don’t let the bloodlust go to your head—I’m speaking from experience.